Additionally, I have made in-person girlfriends in the course of time after my relocation 6 years ago, all of them turned sour. The first relationship was extremely toxic as she would gaslight me of issues such as cheating and being with other girls when I wasn't....if she would have been honest with me on what she wanted in the first place, it would have saved our time, money, and effort.
I have a friend that we barely even talk due to some scheduling differences, but we have gone on dates...non-romantic dates and I'm completely fine with this. ABDL is something a bit odd to her, but she's never once said anything negative about such.
Last in-person relationship was from a lady that had kinks and fetishes, but ABDL wasn't one of them. Now, she had informed me that she doesn't judge, blah blah blah, however she couldn't understand why I liked My Little Pony and said that it's a phase....ABDL wasn't her thing and I was fine with it, diapers are a phase. None of my activities, kinks, and fetishes were valid. She invalidated them, non-judgy Pentecostal, had kinks and fetishes, loved Hentai and Anime.....and none of my interests were valid....toxic.
In between these in-person relationships have been online/LDRs.....most were ok, one was a major PITA, last one I was in actually and I cut her (Sugar Mommy relationship) off because I was tired of the crud that she was putting me through, it was extremely stressful because she kept pressing me on to do her deeds/tasks/chores even during my working hours. I cannot begin to tell you how frustrated she made me, I told her many times how I felt.
Don't let this get to you, mistakes are made and the best way to deal with them is to learn from them. You'll find someone, but be patient.