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All Alone again

I stand or even sit. I'm Alone for the first time in my life. No more wife no more girlfriend to love. My life has taken a different turn. The loneliness creeps in. I'll have to work harder this time to get back on my feet. To walk off the hurt inside me. I get it I made the mistakes and I'm paying for them. But, now I'm alone. So alone. The fear of not being able to find that certain special someone again is hanging over my head. Never again will I have that trust for another. So I stand alone. It's no one's fault but, my own I walked down that path that I should have turned the other way. Something was pulling me. Most likely the demon inside me that seems to never ever let me be. I will never be able to show my face to her again she is gone and has made other plans. I leave you with this. Make sure every move you make is what you want. In the end, it's what you choose.

BigbabyBlue420 06.03.2021 6 376
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  •  Thomson: 
     

    I so feel for you after reading all of this.....but trust me i can MEND things for you, and lets see the way it goes ok.....all you have to do is Hit me up to my Personal email ( [email protected] ) am also on Hangout....trust me this would surely have an end....mommy annabel cares.

     
     06.23.2021 
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  •  Hedgehogsonic16: 
     

    Additionally, I have made in-person girlfriends in the course of time after my relocation 6 years ago, all of them turned sour. The first relationship was extremely toxic as she would gaslight me of issues such as cheating and being with other girls when I wasn't....if she would have been honest with me on what she wanted in the first place, it would have saved our time, money, and effort.

    I have a friend that we barely even talk due to some scheduling differences, but we have gone on dates...non-romantic dates and I'm completely fine with this. ABDL is something a bit odd to her, but she's never once said anything negative about such. 

    Last in-person relationship was from a lady that had kinks and fetishes, but ABDL wasn't one of them. Now, she had informed me that she doesn't judge, blah blah blah, however she couldn't understand why I liked My Little Pony and said that it's a phase....ABDL wasn't her thing and I was fine with it, diapers are a phase. None of my activities, kinks, and fetishes were valid. She invalidated them, non-judgy Pentecostal, had kinks and fetishes, loved Hentai and Anime.....and none of my interests were valid....toxic. 

    In between these in-person relationships have been online/LDRs.....most were ok, one was a major PITA, last one I was in actually and I cut her (Sugar Mommy relationship) off because I was tired of the crud that she was putting me through, it was extremely stressful because she kept pressing me on to do her deeds/tasks/chores even during my working hours. I cannot begin to tell you how frustrated she made me, I told her many times how I felt. 

    Don't let this get to you, mistakes are made and the best way to deal with them is to learn from them. You'll find someone, but be patient. 

     
     06.15.2021 
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  •  Hedgehogsonic16: 
     

    @BigbabyBlue420, I've been in the dating scene for as long as I can remember. At first, I guess you would have considered me bi-curious. I had made some acquaintances via college and other means with same gender/gay individuals and their interactions with me seemed a bit awkward, the touchy feely type, grabbing you sexually without consent, the creepy relationship stuff that was an ultimate turn off for me. 

     

     
     06.15.2021 
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  •  andrexp: 
     

    Hay man I hear you.  My thoughts go out to you.  My  Divorced a few years ago.  Then a gf and that was great but she dumped me and I am all alone.  I agonise over why I can not find someone to love.  I seem to do Ok in business and general social circles so why can't I find a lover?

     
     06.10.2021 
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  •  phontex: 
     

    I'm not sure what the best thing to say is in this situation. I know loneliness better than I know myself. I have been searching most of my life for someone, anyone, that likes me for who and what I am. Whenever I do make a connection with someone it is quickly severed by them learning of what I am, by them deciding that being cruel is more fun or them betraying me in the most heartbreaking ways. No matter how friendly I am or how hard I work they only ever end up hurting me. I've actually begun to think that people's default setting for me is set to instinctually hate me and to seek to cause me misery. So believe me when I say that I wish you all the luck in the world in finding that special someone. At least more luck than I've had. If you do find them, cherish them and don't take them for granted. Because they are alot more precious then even they know.

     
     06.06.20211 replies1 replies 
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06.03.2021 (107 days ago)
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